The "Me First" Stigma

(Fuck You Neil Armstrong)

We all know people who just have to be the first in everything they do. Thus, if they are the first to do or have something before you, they are better than you. We find this is the situation in many cases.

• I started listening to John Mayer before he was cool, so I'm better than you
• I had sex with her first, so I'm better than you
• I got those hot new Skecher's before you, so I'm better than you
• I'm first in line to get my Star Wars: Attack of the Clones tickets, so I'm better than you

Undoubtedly, if any of these scenarios have been the case for you, i concede and yes, you are better than me. But i say, fuck that Me First mentality, I want to be Last at everything I do and still be better than you.

• I want to be the last one to blackout after slamming Long Islands, thus, I'm better than you
• I want to be the last one to actually see The Notebook, thus, I'm better than you
• I want to be last one to die in a Van Dame movie, thus, I'm better than you
• I want to be last one to explode in bed, thus, I'm better than you
• I want to be the last one to say congratulations to Ed McBread's on his wedding day, thus, I am way way way better than you

You get the picture. This is the mentality that winners are made of, not being the first, but being the last. And hell, if you have any Catholic training, you bitches know who will get into heaven first. Me, Bitch!