Meatheads

You probably don't care.

Anyways, when I go to the gym to lift or bike or run I constantly eavesdrop on douchebags talking about 'roids and protein shakes and eating the right stuff. Well it pisses me off. I am majoring in dietetics (nutrition and food science) and it really pisses me off when dumbass ogres drink protein shakes and refuse to eat carbs. There is conflicting research out there. Some say that protein shakes work, others say that it is just expensive urine. I totally agree with the chicks saying its a waste.

So what I am going to do about it? Well, for 2 months now I've been planning my own research experiment. I have decided that I am going to pull off a Morgan Spurlock like SuperSizeMe type deal. For 28 days (FEB) I am going to be consuming one shake of muscle milk for each meal. The catch... that's all I am allowed to consume for 28 days (besides liquor). The control is some guy eating a high protein diet and we are getting meaty and lifting for 28 straight days.

My shits are going to be pure liquid. I am going to shit my pants. Literally. In class. Shart. All over girls. Walk away. Smile. 

I may die. Dying in the name of science. Martyrdom. Heroism. 1900 calories each day of pure protein and fat.

The media has been saying that I don't have the mental toughness to endure this. So I have been training. Eating 1200 or less calories per day for the past week. Shrinking that stomach. Looking sexy. If you are still reading this I am fucking impressed. 

So when all is said and done, body composition tests will be compared from before and after. I will either look like Ray Lewis (ew black) or Calista Flockhart. My nutrition professor called me a "bumbling idiot." Always a good sign.